Things Lost in the Fire

I’ve been thinking a lot about all things that make me so anxious and the things that exhausts my entire being. It’s so hard to understand how things lost can sometimes never be found again. It saddens me, but yet I still have hope. There are multiple things that I personally want to just throw in the fire and burn to pieces. My fears that I don’t dare to share with anyone but God is one of them. And even sometimes I’m scared to share them with Him.

The residue of the smell of smoke constantly reminds me of the things Lost in the fire. It takes my breath away at times. It’s saturated in my clothes, even my skin I think. I want to run so far from it but I can’t get away so I just become breathless. Sometimes I think I’m holding my breath for hours, days, moments at a time. I will be so glad when a fresh wave of clean air breezes through. The aroma of hope, love, trust and honor. The aroma of peace, faithfulness, grace, laughter, and joy. I want it to over take me so much that I feel like I’m floating to another universe. Somewhere in an atmosphere that will change my everything.

But then there are those things that were lost in the fire that I want to reach in and grab. Pull them to me and never let go. I’m trying to decipher if those things are worth getting burned. If the wound will heal or will I have the constant reminder of the sacrifice I made all for…what? Is it worth the sacrifice? Is it worth the pain? I wonder did part of me get Lost in the Fire? Is it me I’m reaching in for? Can I save me or is this just what God wants? For all of me to burn in the Fire?

I guess it’s a journey I’ll have to take to get the answer?

Insanity: Day 2

Today was day 2. I am exhausted! I havent sweat like this in I dont know when. But it felt good. I’m still restricted on one exercise because of my back. I’m being careful cause I dont want to end up stuck bent over again. I decided to do crunches during that portion so I can increase my core strength and hopefully be able to fo those exercises by day 15 or so.

Like I said before, the challenge is working out at home with kids. The funniest thing happened today. Chris wanted to get off the couch and I keep telling him to move. Well I went to go do a power squat and sat on his head.lol. He fell down of course and once I put him back on the couch he fell asleep. Guess mommies butt knocked him out

I defiently had to stop to catch my breath multiple times. I’m sure things will get better strength wise. My poor legs felt like I was going to fall over. Had someone pushed me by the end of that 40 minutes I woulda falling down and stayed there for a couple hours just to steal a nap.lol

Well Hello There

Lets just say a whole year and 4 mths has passed since my last post.  I have to do better. A lot sure has happend in this past year and I sure have need to dump my brain more than I can count on all my finger and toes.  Maybe I’ll start this again next week.  We’ll see….

The Countdown has begun…

Ok, time is winding down.  I have only 5 weeks left!  I am excited but stressed all the same time.  I just want everything to be perfect…bills up to par, house clean, clothes washed, garage spotless (not that we use it), life in order. 

We visited the hospital last Sunday and it was beautiful.  I’m still trying to figure out why they have flat screen televisons in the labor and delivery rooms.  But I guess labor is different for everyone.  My husband better not dare cut on the t.v. to watch football while I’m in labor!  I think James is gonna be awesome, he says he wants to do everything from catching the baby to cutting the cord.  I just hope he doesnt’ get quizzy at the last minute and pass out on me or something. 

I had my 1st baby shower a few weekends ago, It was GREAT!  It was a co-ed shower, although most of James’s friends did not show.  I was greateful that 5 guys came to support him.  He is just as much apart of Christian’s life and I wanted him to be apart of the shower.  Seems like we have so much more to get before the baby comes though.  A stroller, carseat, mattress, baby seat, sock, onesies, the list could go on and on.  God will make a way, he’ll see us through as he always have. 

I plan to do this thing naturally.  My family thinks I’m crazy but with God all things are possible.  They all ask, “who do you know that has done that?”  Our society is so stuck on the easy way out that 97% of the births in our local hospital has epidurels.  I know I can do this, there is not a scared bone in my body.  God has given me peace beyond my understanding and I trust him.  I trust my body to do what it was created to do, GIVE BIRTH. 

The journey continues….

It’s our Anniversary!

9yrs WOW!  It has actually been 9 yrs and we are still going strong!  Marriage is a blessing and it sure is hard work.  But you got to be willing to be a contractor and not a subcontactor and things will be just fine.  We decided from day one that we would be in it for the long haul and with God’s help that’s what we are doing.  The 3 cord strand can not be easily broken!  We’re headed down to Savannah on Friday morning.  This was acutally where we spent our very 1st anniversary.  I love Savannah the historic down home feel.  The cobble stone streets right on the water way.  And of course Paula Deen’s, the absoultely best food in Savannah… Butta and all!  I pray the weather is nice so we can take some pics, I have no prego shots and prego life is winding down.  This will be our last road trip before the bambino comes.  I guess this is our BABY MOON!

Who came up with the tax thing anyway?

Whoever came up with this tax thing I’m sure is probably dead by now…but man if I could ask them WHY…WHY…WHY…that sure would be nice.  Taxes began way back in Old Testament times…you would think they would benefit everyone by now.  NOT!!! I just did my taxes   … surely not what I expected.  I thought owning a home was suppose to make things better!  Well it doesn’t!  Not that anyone really cares about me and my taxes but Hey…I needed to get it off my chest.  Taxes make you wanna drink..and not water.  Now that I’m done with my pout session…I guess something is better than nothing.  Thank you God for something! 

DRev

Well I’m back from Dance Revolution and as usual I am so tired and drained.  But this past weekend is a weekend I’ll never forget.  I didn’t take classes this time and it sort of saddened me.  But God told me to just sit back this time and see what I’m suppose to look like.  I know I’m called to dance… but I also know that I needed this time off to rest.  Not just my body, but my mind and my finances.  Everything in my life is in the stage of restoration.  And as God restores me and all that is connected to me, I am growing so much closer to Him.  So next year… DR watch out… because I’m coming to get all I can, so I can pour back into the KINGDOM and worship GOD with all that’s in me!  Another great thing about the weekend is that the staff there is so transparent and real.  It was so uplifting when of the instructors told his families testimony of how God blessed their family with a baby after his wife had a miscarriage last year.  It took a while for me to get the never to tell him how much that meant to me, but at the end of the weekend, I finally had the opportunity to thank him for sharing and let him know that he gave me an extra dose of hope.  If God can do it for them, He will do it for me!  It reminded me that we serve an amazing God who has all power! 

THis is the schedule… its jammed packed.

The Musical Theater instructor (Sam) and the Pock-n-Lock instructor (Kato), before the futuristic dance party.  Yes…those are lamp shades on their heads.

Some of the girls…

More of the girls…

the gift to give

Today… we followed the command of God.  We gave our furniture to someone who needed it.  It was so awesome to be a blessing.  It’s a gift to be able to give.  Not everyone has the heart to give.  God gives seed to the sower.  Sow seed in someone else’s life and God will give you seed in return. 

 Nothing I can give will be better than what God has already given to me. 

And Ministry began…

Yesterday was our 1st Small Group at the house.  Chilli was awesome…I knew I married my husband for a reason.  We had the usual crowd.  This week we talked about our friend Noah and how he listened to God inspite of everything else going on around him.  That’s hard for most of us to do.  Listen to God…even when others say “Why” or “How”.  But the coolest thing about our God is that when he says “its so”, you better believe it’s going to happend.  With Noah he gave him everything he needed to make the assignment happen.  And if God will do that for Noah, for sure he will do it for us.  Obedience opens so many doors.  Obedience works our faith. It ignites our faith.  You can’t obey God’s command to do something that’s impossible without faith.  God’s word tells us that we can do all things through Christ that strenghten us.  But if you can obey His word without knowing how or why your doing it (like Noah did) your faith can go to the next dimension.  I’m ready to go there. Regardless of what everyone has to say about it.  Regardless if no one else believes He will do it for me.  I will be obedient and follow His command. 

Hello world!

Well…here it begins…the blog life.